3 sins women are most prone to

If you grew up hearing about the seven deadly sins, you may have imagined extremes - the kind of dramatic downfalls that ruin lives and make headlines.

To be fair, I used to think that too.

But over time - especially after working with plenty of women and paying attention to my own patterns - I’ve realised something uncomfortable.

The danger isn’t always in the sins that shock us.

Sometimes it’s in the ones that quietly change us.

They're the silent killers.

Thanks to a friend of mine, I realized that there are three (out of the seven) deadly sins that I tend to slip into without realizing.

I'd like to share them with you, because I think a lot of women will recognize themselves in my shoes.

1. Sloth. Not laziness (far from it!), but neglect.

Surprisingly, this is the one that tops the list.

I’m not lazy. (okay, correction: sometimes I am. But in general, I can and do work hard).

Every single woman I've ever met in my circle of influence is not lazy.

We tend to wake up before everyone else, collapse long after everyone’s asleep, and spin ourselves in circles doing all the things.

I bet you can relate to that. Being busy is the 'norm' these days.

But slothfulness does not mean lying on the couch avoiding work.

In fact, Roman Catholic theology defines slothfulness as 'a culpable lack of effort/a form of apathy and indifference towards what matters.'

And when it comes to myself .... that definition hits close to home.

I’ve spent days doing everything for everyone else and had nothing left for me.

I’ve taken days off work and worked late into the night instead because the kids had a day off school.

I've skipped the doctor because the kids had sport.

I’ve cooked dinner and served everyone the fresh stuff while I ate leftovers off the kids' plates.

I've been busy, just not for me.

Not because I don’t matter .... but because for some reason I couldn’t seem to invest in myself. There's always someone or something more important.

I'm slothful that way - indifferent to myself.

Can you relate?

2. Envy. Born from and fueled by the comparison trap.

I don't get jealous because I’m spiteful.

But I do get jealous because nothing I do seems to be good enough.

Somewhere along the way, being a 'good woman' turned into an impossible checklist:

✔ perfect mother

✔ perfect partner

✔ perfect career

✔ perfect appearance

✔ perfect home

✔ perfect everything

Social media didn't help: I scrolled, I compared, and I quietly drowned in the sea of envy.

I didn't wish for anyone to fail; it wasn't that type of jealousy.

I was just terrified of failing myself.

Envy whispered that everyone was doing better.

So I did more. Tried harder. Worked more.

Funny, but no matter how much I achieved, there was always someone ahead. Someone to envy.

Can you relate?

3. Pride. “I don’t need help. I’ve got this.”

This one blindsided me the most, because it didn't look like arrogance.

Like wolf in sheep clothing, it disguised itself as self-sufficiency and independence - qualities that the world celebrates.

And so I didn’t ask for help. I didn't admit that I was struggling.

Not because I thought I was better than anyone, but because I was ashamed and afraid to admit that I couldn't do it alone.

Asking for help would mean that I was failing.

Asking for help would mean that I wasn't capable, that I wasn't worthy, that I couldn't be trusted or relied on.

So I gritted my teeth, assured everyone that “I’m fine” with a fake smile and unravelled quietly behind closed doors.

Can you relate?

What my current journey looks like:

Sloth told me: you don’t matter.

Envy told me: you’re falling behind.

Pride told me: you don’t need anyone.

But here’s what I’m learning:

I do matter.

I am exactly where I need to be in life.

And I was never meant to do life alone.

Real strength is being tender with myself.

Real maturity is celebrating others without losing myself in the process.

Real courage is asking for help before everything collapses.

Some questions I’m sitting with and chewing on:

• Where am I consistently placing myself last?

• Whose life am I comparing mine to and what story am I telling myself because of it?

• Who could support me right now? What is holding me back from asking?

• What is one thing I could do today to care for myself like I care for everyone else?

I’m praying for wisdom, discernment, and a lot of grace for myself as I sit with these.

My gentle invitation to you:

If any part of my story felt uncomfortably familiar .... know that you're not alone. In fact, you're in good company 🤗 I see you.

More importantly, God sees you. He knows the comparison, the pride, the quiet self-neglect.

And the best part is this: He doesn't just watch from afar. Rather, He draws near to us in the places we feel weakest.

God sees the exhaustion. He knows about the comparison, the pride, the quiet self-neglect. And He doesn’t just watch from afar; He draws near to us in the places we feel weakest. In our sin.

I invite you to lay down the pressures, the striving, the “I’ve got this,” at His feet. Let Him hold your heart, your doubts, your fears, your sins of slothfulness, envy and pride. Let Him remind you that your worth isn’t earned - it’s given.

Remember, we weren't made to just cope.

We were made to live, and to have life to the full.