How to move forward when fear and doubt keeps you stuck

I sat at my computer yesterday morning, staring at the blinking cursor.

Thirty minutes. Forty-five minutes. Nothing. Not a single word.

My mind raced. My heart hammered. I had planned to sit down and spend the morning writing, and yet I felt completely stuck.

It’s not just writer’s block. It’s fear. Anxiety. Worry. Mostly, it’s terror.

I’ve been hearing God’s call to this (second) book for a long time. But I resisted. I pushed back and rebelled.

Not because I didn’t want to write it, but because it felt too hard.

The first book was hard - long nights of writing and rewriting, editing, publishing, more editing .... you get the idea.

And that was just the effort. The finances were another thing. I think I barely recouped my costs.

So when God told me to write the sequel, I avoided it. I didn’t want to go through all of that again.

I procrastinated. I found other 'better' things to do. I put it off for years.

But God has a way of softening my heart. I felt really called to do it, so in the past few weeks, I decided to finally sit down and write .... to no avail. The words wouldn't come. Nothing is flowing. Every single word I type is excruciatingly difficult; like trying to wring water from a rock.

And yesterday, as I was going about this futile effort, I had a sudden thought that utterly terrified me:

What if God has given this assignment to someone else because of my disobedience?

I remembered Elizabeth Gilbert’s story in her book Big Magic ; on how she lost an idea for a novel to Ann Patchett.

In that instant, my stomach sank.

Could God have done that with my book? Could my hesitation have cost me this story?

The thought left me panicked. I wanted this book. I wanted to obey. I didn’t want it taken from me.

So I prayed. Desperately.

“God, forgive me for putting this off. Forgive me for fearing the work, for avoiding the call, for letting my doubt drown out Your voice. Please help me. Please just give me one more chance. This time, I'm willing to obey. I'm willing to trust. I WANT to obey.”

And amazingly, the Spirit spoke to me .... by putting Jonah on my mind.

The prophet Jonah who ran from God's call. Who ended up in the belly of the fish, the lowest pit imaginable.

That was exactly how I felt.

And that was exactly when things shifted. God gave Jonah another chance. He fled in the opposite direction. He asked to be thrown overboard - he would rather die! - than go to Nineveh.

It was only when he was at the lowest of low that he repented.

And God was gracious to forgive him and give him yet another chance.

I'm Jonah.

I ran. I distracted myself. I did all the other busy things .... anything and everything apart from the thing that God asked me to do.

But I sensed God telling me that He's forgiving me, and giving me yet another chance.

And then another thought came: The Spirit You give me is not one of fear.

2 Timothy 1:7 says: “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”

Fear had been taking up space that didn’t belong. The terror, the worry, the panic - none of that is from God. His Spirit brings power to act, love for the work, and self-discipline to persist.

That realization softened my fear.

So I whispered back: I will write, God. I will trust that the assignment is still mine. I will show up. I will not fear.

One word at a time. One sentence at a time. One day at a time.

The writer's block isn't gone. It's one of the reasons I'm writing this blog post rather than the book at the moment - I couldn't find the words for that this morning.

But I will continue to obey. I will show up. Even though it's hard.

Because the process matters more than the outcome. Faithfulness matters more than success. And heart change matters more than the finished product. And I know that God will work all things out for good - He has a way of doing just that.

Is there an invitation here for you?

Maybe you know this feeling too.

Maybe there’s something God is calling you to - it may not be a book.

It may be a small task - a conversation, a decision, an action, a dream - that feels too hard, too risky, too vulnerable.

So you’ve been avoiding it. Hesitating. Waiting for the 'perfect' time (the one that will never arrive).

I know exactly how that feels, trust me.

But I'm learning that obedience matters more than perfection. One word. One sentence.

So what’s one tiny step you could take today toward what God is asking of you?

You don’t have to finish it. You don’t have to do it perfectly.

You just need to start.

With you on this journey,

Amy ♥️

ps - if this helped you and feel led, I’d love to hear from you. Leave a comment below sharing what step you’re taking today. Let’s encourage one another in showing up, one word, one action, one day at a time.